because I liked their shape, by ​Matti Ben-Lev

Pelvis with the Distance, by Georgia O'Keeffe (USA) 1984

because I liked their shape

Skulls are not about death for me, Georgia says. Georgia uses skulls & bones & 
calcified pelvises 
as lenses through which to explore life, to explore nature. She gathers 
bones so she can paint the ocean through them. She says 
she paints skulls because she likes their shape. 

Emotions have no shape, but they definitely have a colour. My mother’s favorite colour 
is blue, the colour of the ocean. The colour of the Mediterranean Ocean she took 
me to swim in when I was eight, taught me how to photograph smells & sounds
with my mind. I took that picture with me the way Georgia stole bones, 
to hoard & make art from, for years & years. 

Or maybe emotions have both shape & colour. Gaps can be a kind of shape. Canyons can 
be a kind of shape. Canyons that lengthen 
with baby sobs, sounds that tell you stay
away from your mother’s room when your little sister cries, sick
as if poisoned. 

Georgia says she knew she wanted to be an artist since she was twelve. My mom has said she knew 
she wanted to be a counselor since she was six. Minerals leaked from a granite tongue that lapped 
slowly at some & quickly at others, the distance between blood &
foreign material like the chunked dust held in a canyon’s mouth. 

A canyon of what? A canyon of noise. Relationships exist in canyons of noise. Static 
is a type of noise. Silence is a type of noise. After days of erupting 
arguments, she doesn’t speak to me. Then, all at once like volcanic ash or static
filling a crater. 

Trauma can be a type of noise. Memory can be a type of noise. 

She ran away at seventeen but returned after a month. Her dad spoke no words
for many months. Anger can be a type of noise. Noise

like the glass door of a basement squeaking one night 
at four AM. We argue for weeks. Lies
can be a type of noise. Time can be a type of
noise. 

Now, we kayak together. Water lapping is a type of noise. 

It is not about death, Georgia says. I painted skulls because I liked their shape. 

​Matti Ben-Lev

Matti's work has been published in The Rumpus, Anti-Heroin Chic, and Corporeal. Matti holds a BA from Towson University where he studied creative writing and served as a poetry editor for Grub Street, Towson’s literary magazine. He is currently an MFA candidate in nonfiction at George Mason University, as well as a reader for Phoebe and So To Speak. For fun, he reads, hikes, and attends concerts. You can find him at [email protected] or on Twitter @MattiBL6.