Early Musings, by Hedy Habra

Interlude of the Apotheosis by Leonor Fini (Italy, b. Argentina) 1936

Early Musings
 
In front of the mirror, I'd step into a liminal space where every transformation was possible. I'd see my hair grow at will, covering my budding chest the way Saint Agnes' hair spread over her nudity. I'd hold an imaginary scalpel to sculpt a thinner waist, redress a curb, and test ways to apply kohl and eyeshadow to create almond-shaped eyes, projecting an invisible blueprint for a future self.
 
Facing my complicit audience, I'd rehearse overheard fragments of conversations. My mom's closest friends remained single, never wearing makeup, yet they were a repository of perpetual beauty secrets, offering me an invaluable vademecum.  
 
Avid fans of Historia Magazine, they shared a fascination with Mata Hari's seduction, Marie Antoinette's pastoral obsessions, and Catherine the Great's young lovers. I drank their words like ambrosia. Mom was particularly fond of Cleopatra's donkey milk baths, which Poppaea Sabina, Nero's wife, emulated by keeping a herd of donkeys. Even Napoleon's sister, Pauline, resorted to that daily ritual. No wonder Canova immortalized her in a reclined semi-nude Carrara marble sculpture, its luster reminiscent of her well-kept skin. 
 
I listened religiously for years and tried various concoctions for hair and face masks, using egg yolks, egg whites, olive oil, castor oil, yogurt, and honey, until the day I realized these recipes hadn't worked on their ardent advocates. That's when my conversations with the mirror took a different turn. 
 
Hedy Habra

This poem was first published at MasticadoresUSA.
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Hedy Habra is a poet, artist, and essayist. Her latest poetry collection, Or Did You Ever See The Other Side?, won International Poetry Book Awards and was a finalist for the Eric Hoffer and USA Best Book Awards. The Taste of the Earth won the Silver Nautilus Book Award and Honorable Mention for the Eric Hoffer Book Award. Tea in Heliopolis won the Best Book Award, and Under Brushstrokes was a finalist for the International Book Award. Her story collection, Flying Carpets, won the Arab American Book Award’s Honorable Mention and was a finalist for the Eric Hoffer Award. Her book of criticism is Mundos alternos y artísticos en Vargas Llosa. She is a twenty-five-time nominee for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net and a recipient of the Nazim Hikmet Award. https://www.hedyhabra.com/