In the Artist's Hands, by Tracy Royce

Untitled, by Robert Royce (USA) c. 1978

In The Artist’s Hands

Today he’s not holding his briefcase, its brown leather cracked and puckering. Not holding his bus pass for the driver to check before he trudges down the aisle and slumps against the seat, where he will read until he is deposited downtown. Not holding the elevator for the new secretary so they can ascend the gleaming tower together. Not holding his liquor during another long lunch. Not holding his calls while he indulges in a little office slap and tickle, or better yet, an afternoon assignation at a nearby hotel. 

No, not today. Today his right hand holds a long-neglected paintbrush. In his left is a photograph of this introverted child, ever more remote, but still tender with her pet. She’s got that awful haircut his wife likes, keeps calling it a Dorothy Hamill, but it’s basically a bowl cut. The kid wants to grow her hair, let her grow it out. But that’s his ever-widening wife’s domain. Like his domain is the briefcase and the bus and the office. Downtown.

But not today. Today he is at home in his den, where he holds the photograph up to the light and inspects it in all its peculiarity. Looks like the kid is kissing the bunny, or vice versa. But he knows this outdoor rabbit, racer of coyotes, is just accepting a piece of carrot from his daughter’s mouth. 

He dabs the tempera on the canvas, surveys his progress. He can’t get the girl’s arm and shoulder right; they’re awkward in the photo but absolutely alien on the canvas. The arm appears dislocated, maybe broken. It reminds him of that time when he...well, that’s best forgotten. 

He looks at the clock: cocktail hour. He swizzles his paintbrush in a cup of water. Clean enough. Maybe he’ll try again tomorrow. Maybe it’s not too late to fix this.

Tracy Royce

Tracy Royce is a poet and writer whose words have appeared in / are forthcoming in 100 Word Story, Five Minutes, The Mackinaw, MacQueen’s Quinterly, and elsewhere. She lives in Southern California, where she enjoys hiking in the region’s many mountains, playing board games, and obsessing over Richard Widmark movies. You can find her on Bluesky. ​