In Which Hemingway Examines Fitzgerald’s Penis
Finally when we were eating the cherry tart and had a last carafe of wine he said, “You know I never slept with anyone except Zelda.” And so Scott went on to detail for Hemingway his shortcomings. Or rather, a very specific shortcoming. At least, that’s what Zelda had told him. The two men marched from the bar straight into the men’s room so as to give Hem a better view (the only surefire way to debunk a fallacy of the phallus). “That’s the oldest way in the world of putting people out of business,” Hemingway reassured (he never liked Zelda anyway). He insisted that her cruelty was unprompted, that perhaps, the angle from which Scott viewed himself/made love was to blame. A matter of degrees, not of size—certainly! But Scott still feared his manhood wasn’t measuring up and so Ernest, in an act of supreme loyalty, escorted the young Casanova to The Louvre in order to compare his virility to the male statues. Ernest tried to convince him; if it was good enough for Michelangelo, surely Scott shouldn’t complain. But Scott’s angst was not so easily assuaged. Good enough to be eternalized in marble, surely, but not good enough for his baboo. Molly Cimikoski *The lines in italicized text originally appeared in Ernest Hemingway’s, A Moveable Feast (Copyright 1964). Molly Cimikoski was born and raised in beautiful New Hampshire, but now spends her days in sunny Santa Monica, California. She recently completed her master's degree in English and Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University and is pursuing her goal of becoming a professor.
1 Comment
Gary D Hailey
10/7/2024 03:57:55 am
The Greeks made penises smaller in art works because they believed that made them more esthetically pleasing. So maybe F Scott was small!
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