Adieu
it's not going to happen all at once-- in fact, this moment of suffering will turn into several eternities: it's just how these things go, the time will creep by and you'll do nothing but hate god and yourself for not having saved her: all these things are normal, even your pain, especially your pain... but they won't tell you about reliving that moment in your heart till time "runneth out" and they won't tell you you'll wish you too were dead even though as your beard greys and the eyes dim, you won't be able to tell much difference between life and death, so that your misery will come to feel normal, like something that is good and wholesome because it reminds you of her... until you remember what she was really like and you'll despise yourself for replacing her with this disgusting substitute that could never be her, that she never would have approved of you curling up with, for where is your life now? you can point to this image and say there, right there! but that was then, and you are more than her loss, aren't you? they'll want something transcendent here, something lifting them up to where their own wisdom could never take them, and so you point to her death, to your lamenting, and say forever that this is who you are, even as you know she is shaking her head at you from beyond... where is the part that says you will do the same, that you will leave her as she left you? if she hated dying, you can hate to continue living, but still, you must go… yet in spite of knowing this, you stay Garth Ferrante This poem was written in response to the sex and art ekphrastic challenge. Garth Ferrante is a complete unknown who teaches, writes, and makes games out of challenging his own creativity. He writes because he loves to, because he finds meaning and purpose in it, because if he didn’t, life would be lifeless.
1 Comment
Lindsay
7/2/2022 07:38:19 pm
Heart breaking, yet beautiful.
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