Aspartame, by Lorette C. Luzajic, Translated Into Urdu by Maraam Pasha and Saad Ali

Ida Reading a Letter, by Vilhelm Hammershoi (Denmark) 1899

​اسپرٹیم

جب تک میں نے تمہارا  خط پڑھا
میں خالی ہو چکی تھی
ہر چیز سے پہلے ہی۔
بوجھل دکھاوے
جھڑ چکے تھے،
داغ سرکے میں حل ہو چکے تھے،
کمرہ بلکل خالی تھا۔
میں بہت چاہتی تھی کہ تم
چائے کے وہ مراکشی برتن دیکھو
اور وہ معجزوں سے بھرا کراس
جو میکسیکو سے لایا گیا تھا۔
مگر کسی سبب یہ جذبہ شیریں دوا سا تھا،
ایک نکلی مٹھاس،
جو میری زبان پر ایک عجیب ذائقہ چھوڑ گئی۔
پہلے مجھے امید تھی کہ تم
میرے ریکارڈز میں سناترا ڈھونڈ لو گے، خیال تھا تم
مجھے رقص کرنے کو کہو گے۔ میرا خواب تھا
تم میری کتابیں دیکھو گے،
کہ تم دیکھو گے وہ سب جو میں تھی
اپنی آنکھوں کی حرکت سے اور
انگلیوں سے انکی جلدوں پہ۔
مگر تمہاری غیر موجودگی کے غصے میں،
میں نے اپنے گھر سے سب کچھ کھروچ دیا،
ایک طرح کی پاکیزگی،
ایک صفائی، ایک طہارت۔
میں صاف ھونا چاھتی تھی،
ایک خالی تختی،
امکان کے لئے خالی۔
بجائے صرف میرے
اور میرے احمقانہ سہاروں کے۔

transliteration:

Aspartame

Jab tak main ne tumhara khat parha
main khali ho chukie thi
her cheiz se pehle hi.
Bhoojal dikhaway
jhar chukay thay,
daag sirke mein hal ho chuke thay,
kamra bilkul khali tha.

Main bohat chaati thi ke tum
chaaye ke woh Marrakshi bartan dekho
aur woh moojazoon se bhara cross
jo Mexico se laya gaya tha.
Magar kisi sabab yeh jazba sheerein dwaa sa tha,
ek nakli mithaas,
jo meri zuban par aik ajeeb zaika choar gaee.
Pehle mujhe umeed thi ke tum
mere records mein Sinatra dhoond lo ge, khayaal tha tum
mujhe raks karne ko kahoo ge. Mera khawab tha
tum meri kitaabain daikhoo ge,
ke tum daikhoo ge jo sab main thi
apni ankhoon ki harkat se aur
ungleeon se unki jildoon pe.

Mgar tumhari gair-mojoodgi ke ghuse mein,
main ne apne ghar se sub kuch kharoach diya,
ek tarha ki pakeezgi,
ek safayi, ek tahaarat.
Main saaf hona chaati thi,
ek khali takhtie,
imkaan ke liye khali.
Bajaae sirf mere
aur mere ahmaqaana sahaaroon ke.

​ 
Aspartame
 
By the time I read your letter,
I had been emptied 
of everything already.
The cumbersome pretenses 
had been dusted, 
the stains dissolved in vinegar,
the room swept bare.
 
I had so wanted you to 
see the little Moroccan tea glasses
and the cross, cluttered with milagros,
brought back from Mexico.
But somehow this sentiment seemed saccharine, 
a simulated sweetness 
that left a strange taste on my tongue.
Earlier I’d hoped for you to find
Sinatra in my records, imagined you
would ask me to dance. I dreamed
you would roam my books,
that you would see all that I was
with a sweep of eyes and 
fingers along their spines.
 
But in the fury of your absence,
I scrubbed everything from my home,
a purification of sorts,
a detox, a purge.
I wanted to be clean, 
a blank slate, 
empty with possibility.
Instead of just me 
and my stupid little props.

Lorette C. Luzajic, translated into Urdu by Maraam Pasha and Saad Ali.

The English version of this poem was first published in Aspartame, by Lorette C. Luzajic (Mixed Up Media Books, 2016.)

Maraam Pasha (b. 1999 C.E. in Lahore, Pakistan) has been raised in Rawalpindi & Islamabad, Pakistan. She earned her Bachelor’s degree in Accounting & Finance from the National University of Pakistan, Pakistan. By profession, she is a Marketing & Communication Executive, and now works at Mob Inspire, USA. She has been published in The Ekphrastic Review. She finds literature a way to connect with both herself and others. Her other interests include: photography, painting, music, travelling, baking, and sculpting. She shares her artistic creations on her page: www.instagram.com/maraam_pasha.

Saad Ali (b. 1980 C.E. in Okara, Pakistan) has been brought up in the UK and Pakistan. He holds a BSc and an MSc in Management from the University of Leicester, UK. He is an existential philosopher-poet. Ali has authored four books of poetry i.e. Ephemeral Echoes (AuthorHouse, 2018), Metamorphoses: Poetic Discourses (AuthorHouse, 2019), Ekphrases: Book One (AuthorHouse, 2020), and Prose Poems: Βιβλίο Άλφα (AuthorHouse, 2020). He is a regular contributor to The Ekphrastic Review. By profession, he is a Lecturer, Consultant and Trainer/Mentor. Some of his influences include: Vyasa, Homer, Ovid, Attar, Rumi, Nietzsche, and Tagore. He is fond of the Persian, Chinese and Greek cuisines. He likes learning different languages, travelling by train, and exploring cities on foot. To learn more about his work, please visit www.saadalipoetry.com.

Lorette C. Luzajic is an award-winning, internationally collected visual artist. She is also a widely published author who usually writes about art. She is the founder and editor of The Ekphrastic Review. Visit her at www.mixedupmedia.ca.