​Figure of a Male Rice Deity, by William Pagdatoon

Figure of a Male Rice Deity (Philippines) 19th century or earlier

​Figure of a Male Rice Deity
 
definitely not god, it’s balding, smooth 
domed cranium glossy in the small 
display case. put a toupee on him, or may 
i suggest rogaine because it makes heads

tingle. yet i move closer, level with its 
lozenge eyes, see its legs muscular, knees 
slightly bent. it’s father, lifting two-by-fours 
for flower beds while i follow with a

drill and a box of screws. i wasn’t fond
of hydrangeas or tomatoes. (i would’ve rather 
been scanning an atlas of new jersey.) but i was
there as he carried galaxies after a twelve-hour shift
 
at the hospital, where a patient expelled the 
entire universe all over his scrubs. and now 
i recall all those times he had his lips open, 
thin projection, tongue scolding the stars in

retrograde because i didn’t understand what 
it meant to leave a country over oceans. i 
saw him a few days ago, his back, proper
right side, and base somewhat eroded. he says,

“if i’m still alive next year.” i tell him “you're
unfortunately stuck with us for a while
longer.” and even though for years people 
reminded me how much we looked alike,

i never realized it until then. not exactly a 
true reflection because he bore more marks
by metal blade, but close enough. in the philippines, 
the bulul is often passed down for generations, 

overseeing many harvest seasons and ceremonies. 
i’ve managed to keep a cactus and an orchid 
alive. back at his house, my father reminds me
that he didn’t start losing hair until he was in his

forties. i’m only in my mid-twenties. perhaps, 
this my version of a quarter-life crises. but 
we both laugh, rubbing the spot on our heads 
reserved for the insertion of a plume of hair.

William Pagdatoon

Editor's note: Italics are from artifact information from the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

William Pagdatoon is the son of Filipino immigrants. Born and raised in New Jersey, he received his MFA from Queens College—CUNY. His interests include Filipino American identity, history, film, music, food, and anything else that catches his senses.