The Final Knot, by Daniel Addercouth

Seated Woman, by Maria Blanchard (Spain) 1928

The Final Knot

I spend my days sitting on our balcony overlooking the city, sewing my daughter’s wedding dress. She’s getting married next year and wants a modern white dress instead of the traditional black. My husband is so looking forward to the wedding. 

On the balcony, the breeze caresses my face and I can smell the pine trees from the nearby forest. As time goes on, my stitches get smaller. I only leave the balcony to make meals for my husband. His appetite is huge and seems to be growing. I make him hearty pork stews that he devours. I drain off some of the thin broth for myself. It’s all I can manage.

I have a nut trapped in my throat. At first it was a peanut. Now it’s a walnut and getting bigger. As it grows, my throat slowly constricts so it becomes harder to swallow. I survive on soup and glasses of milk.

My husband worries about me not eating. He tells me I don't need to lose any more weight. He doesn’t know the real reason. I'll have to tell him eventually, but I can't bring myself to say anything yet. He's so excited about our daughter’s wedding and I don't want to spoil his happiness.

I haven't been to see Dr Navarro yet. I know it's already too late, that there's nothing he can do. If I visit him, it will start a process that will involve scalpels, blood and pain and in the end not achieve anything. I know it doesn’t make sense, but as long as I stay on the balcony I can enjoy the scent of the pine trees. And keep sewing the wedding dress.

Daniel Addercouth

Daniel Addercouth is a Scottish writer based in Berlin, Germany. Find him on Twitter at @ruralunease.